Exclusive Report: English cricketers EXPOSED

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Exclusive Report: English cricketers EXPOSED
The deepest darkest secret of English cricket has now been finally exposed. Here are the reasons why Pakistan has been underperforming against England. We will take you through a detailed account of what has been conspiring during the recent trip to England
which has been surely a traumatic experience for the Pakistan cricket players. It turns out that the English cricketers are fond of living the life of abstinence. Abstinence from clothes that is.
Yes you guys got that right. They don’t seem to appreciate the weight of clothes on their s**y shoulders and hence they decided to shed them exactly during the time when Pakistan meant to tour England. This strategic move, proved to be the coffin in the
nail for the cricket team, the relatively young side was exposed to a lot of bare flesh. Just a little more than they could take.
Before Pakistan’s tour to England three English cricketers appeared naked, yes completely stripped of all their clothes, holding well positioned bats in a British version of Cosmo. The three men did it for charity apparently to raise awareness about prostate
and testicular cancer. This not the only time that the English cricket men have posed nude for the camera, with James Anderson taking pride in promoting a g*y magazine Attitude.
“The October issue, published on September 27, features the fast bowler in numerous naked poses in a London car park chosen to give a gritty urban background for the shoot,” reads one report on the fast bowler.
Given the fact, that he has no qualms about posing nude for the camera, it has come to our knowledge that this is in fact one of the reasons that has distracted the Pakistan cricket team on their recent tour of England where every time James Anderson comes
in to bowl, those images come back to haunt the Pakistani players who then go on to lose all their concentration.
Hailing from a society where homosexuality is considered to be a taboo subject, the fans can very well imagine the sort of impact such images might have on the conservative Pakistani players who have lost all their concentration. Mohammad Amir the young
lad, is alleged to have been approached by James Anderson completely nude, and the young 18 year old seems to have been mortified in the aftermath of the traumatic experience.
Before Pakistan went on to bowl in the second innings of the Lords Test where Stuart Broad went on to score 169 after England had lost 7 early wickets, it is also said that someone slipped a nude image of Stuart Broad in the Pakistan dressing room. Whatever
happened next is up to your own imagination, but it is believed that all h**l broke loose after that. The Pakistani players were traumatized and shocked, and could not even dare look the man in the eye lest he stripped on the pitch in front of them and gave
them all a heart attack.
Having lost all their focus, Stuart Broad went on to make the best knock of his life with a big threatening smile on his face that only the Pakistani players could decipher. Mohammad Amir knew, that he had already been corrupted at the tender age of 18 and
he could not be any worse off than what he had already witnessed. The big no ball bowled by Amir, was not deliberate. He simply had a vision of the naked diva’s of English cricket and lost all his focus and sense of time or movement. He lost his senses, and
therefore, we have in front of us a no ball two feet wide of the crease.
Pakistani players are not used to this sort of exposure, and it remains to be scene what would follow as the trauma slowly begins to unfold. in the meanwhile told the team, that it was high time they should get used to keeping their cool in front
of naked men. He also, told the reporters that he would not resign even though it could be said that the English cricketers tore their clothes off due to Ijaz Butts universal s*x appeal.
Meanwhile Graeme Swann a man who minces no words, came down harsh on the English players. “Ijaz Butt might be a s*x god, but that does not mean that the English cricketers take their clothes off, every chance they get.”
(the writer mixes fact with fiction to produce humour - his opinions are his own)



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