I really need help right now! This is serious. (me and my mom)?

Question

Well we always fight!! And it's getting more verbal than ever! She's always saying how im a crew up, and can't get anything right. This really hurts me, shes my mom..and the only close family that is living with me. I haven't seen my dad in 7 years, my sister and brother(who I am very close to), live 6 hours away in another city. Our fighting has definatly gotten worse over the last year. And its effecting my whole life right now. I feel sad all the time, and whenever we fight I end up crying like crazy. And I feel I shouldn't be so sad and stressed at 14, especially in the summer!

So tonight, I was talking to my brother on the phone, and my mom was as well on our other phone. And she starts bitching at me on the phone, almost as if she "wanted" my brother to here. Then she said, " I don't know how your going to make it in life! " and started off (again) on how im "not as perfect as she is" And my brother got really pissed, he said excuse me? And was going to say something but I hung up because I was so mad at her!

But this has been going on for about 3 or 4 years now, and I need advise to wather or not I should move in with my older sister. We talked about it before, and she said I would be welcome to move in with her if I really want. Im stating to think that would be for the best, I would be happier and healthier as well. Like, when I spend a month down there every summer, its like a vacation from fighting with my mom. But then I go home, and its good for about 2 or 3 weeks at the most (which it "has" been since my last visit) So what do you think I should do?!?!

Answer 1

My relationship with my mom is strained at best.  Actually, from what you have said your mom is alot like mine.  I would definatley look into living with another relative even just for a little while so you can get some time to think.  I know alot of the things my mom said and did to me when I was younger still impacts me today to some extent.  You might want to talk to your school counselor, or resource officer to help deal with the stress.

Answer 2

You probably should move in with your sister, since she is willing to take you.

It sounds like it's a very toxic environment with your mom.

You are pretty young, and I know your mom will NOT react well to you moving out of her 'control'. But it is for your good; and it sounds like the way things are escalating, she could possibly turn physically violent, if she hasn't already.

I'm so sorry. You're right, you definitely shouldn't be going through this.

Answer 3

my mum used to do this as well and i really fought back we where always fighting she kept threatening me to go live in with my dad but then when she was shouting think about something else when shes finished say nothing and dont let her get to you now i get on really well with my mum just dont fight back thats all then everything will be fine

Answer 4

move out to your sister's ...it is a benefit to both of you..!!..it sucks living like that with your mom !!...lol..I would just want to kill myself...lol..good luck.!!

Answer 5

do what seems right fot you if u are not happy their than go it will probly get worse im not telling u to go i is just my opinion

Answer 6

ur mom sounds like mines..but all i ever did was take it..suck it up..and listen 2 her c**p...it gets me soo pissed...it sux that ur siblings don't live with u ..cause mi twin sis is there 2 make me feel better...but fighting and arguing doesn't help either. first without fighting maybe you could right a letter saying what she wants form you..and you "write" what you want from her....what you need to do is maybe i'm not saying its going to work but try...try talking to her friends..and get her friends to talk 2 her and say things like cool down...Butyou could get ur brothers and sisters over the phone to help talk 2 her...what I'm saying is talk or  do anything that you can do to communicate with each other in a calm manner..or do something together(mother daughter quality time)..if its possible..if it doesnt work then move in wid ur sis

Answer 7

its up to u if u want to go live with ur sister or stay with ur mom.

if i were u i would go live with my sister and visit my mom from time to time to prvent us form fighting.

and also try talking to ur mom without fighting and tell her to shut the F**k up becuse no one is perfect in thiss world unless ur a godd.

good luckk hope everything works out fine.

Answer 8

I would tell my mom that her behavior is so cruel and unacceptable and I'm not able to stand that anymore.if she's not going to change,I'm going to leave.

you can visit an adviser,too.but I think what I just told you seems pretty logical.

IF the things you said are completely right,without adding or removing anything.just do no harm to your mom,see what happens!

Answer 9

Hey i know how you feel but this time its with my dad it feels so thats why i moved to my sisters home because it was to frustraiting to deal with my father hey u gotta do what u feel is best hope youll be okay

Answer 10

If it is at all possible to sit down with your mom and sister at the same time I think that would be best. You need to make sure your sister is okay with you moving in. If you do move in with your sister that is going to an adjustment for her too. If you two end up fighting once in a while don't worry, that is what sister do.

Have you ever tried to tell you mom how you feel? You need to make sure she knows exactly how you feel. Did she treat your brother and sister the same way?

I am sorry you feel so bad and stressed. Take a deep breathe and really think about what is best for you! Write down positives and negatives to moving and to staying. This should also help give you a little help with deciding.

I wish you luck, I hope things get better for you honey!  

Answer 11

move inw/ ur sister. i think ur whole family realizes its not healthy for you. Good luck!! =)

Answer 12

Your only 14 I can hear you know alot about other peoples actions and psycological confrontations. You seem like youve been through alot verbally and mentally and look how strong you already are. You are going to be you no matter what your mom does to you. Mentally seperate with her and she will see your growing apart, feel guilty, and try to better herself like you already have.

:)

Answer 13

well first try to see why your mom is like that ,if she is the one who has the problem is ok you can move but if is you the one who do or have bad thing ,you are gonna have the same problem with your sister ,why you don't sit down with your mom and talk about it ,ask her if she was smart enough at that age ,if she learn by herself everything in her life ,one of the good thing to have parents next to us is they can teach us how to survive and how to do things better ,,if the situation continue tell her for good that is better that you move because you don't want to be hurt anymore and that situation is affected you even in your school  

Answer 14

Well..at the moment moving in with your sister would probably be the right thing to do. Try it for a while, give your mom a break to calm down.  Then see what happens from there, vote me best answer and tell me what happens!

Answer 15

That's really a tough question for anyone who doesn't know you personally to answer just based on what you explain.. You should probably get together with your whole family, sit down, and talk about what is best. You're young and this happens to everyone, it'll work out

Answer 16

If I was in your position I would move with your sister.

Cause you would obviously be more happy there.

Good luck[x

Answer 17

well this a a hard question

tell your mom to read this and she might leave you alone, if not moving with your sis cause this could turn in to physical abuse or anger. if you tell your mom that you want to move in with your sister for ever she might feel guilty and change

good luck hope things work out for you

x

Answer 18

Well if you are telling the whole story then yes you should move in with your sister...but i have a feeling that it is not only your mother that has the problems...you need to talk to her...ask her what you do wrong and tell you ways to fix it...i think if you talk enuf you might find a solution

Answer 19

You should move in with your sister.I am sure your whole family realizes you are really stressed.It's better for you becuase that way you can relax and just hang out with your sister.Like someone else said if she doesn't let you go with your sister settle it in court.I bet your sister and brother will take your side and help you all the way to the top.If you do decide to take your mom to court I am sure you will win.Good luck!

Answer 20

I had a friend go through the same thing. It's really tough and sadly there isn't really anything you can do. if your sister is responsible enough to take care of you, then i think, if you want to, you should move in with her. It would probably be beneficial to you in taking off a lot of the stress she puts on you.

The only problem is, is that you're 14. If she doesn't let you leave, the only way you can really move in with your sister is to go to court with your mom, which is a long and painful process.

I hope that whatever you decide to do works our for you. best of luck.