Adoptive Parents: Did you change your child's name and if so, why?

Question

I kept my son's first name. I brought him home at almost 8 months old.

Answer 1

My adoptive parents kept my given name and I love them for that. Their logic?  I had a name so why change it, besides they love it.

I was adopted at three months of age

Answer 2

Changed it from "Baby girl". I think, however, I would really have liked to have discussed the name with the first/natural/birth/biological mother and come up with something we both loved and was fitting-even if she picked one and I picked one. It just seems so appropo.

Answer 3

I am adding a new first name to my soon to be adopted daughters birth name, so she will have two first names (like Emily-Elizabeth).

Why?  because my older daughter has the same first name and this seemed like the only reasonable option.

So, older daughter will be Elizabeth and younger daughter will be Emily-Elizabeth.

I will keep the middle name her mother gave her.

Answer 4

My sisters were adopted out of the foster care system when they were three, four, and five (all at once, they are biological sisters to each other).  They were given the choice to keep their name or to choose new names.  They all choose to take on new names they choose themselves.  (The older two choose the name for the youngest one).  

If you ask them now if they like their names, they say yes because they were in the unique position of choosing either to keep their names which they associated with abuse, or to start anew with new names.  

It is a different situation, but in their case, it has seemed to work out, however they still think they can be the ones to choose the name for my child (I'm due in August).

Answer 5

We added to the name, but they kept the names they were born with.  

Their names are (first name by birth), (American-ized nickname chosen by us and agreed to by the children), (last name of birth), (our last name, again agreed to by the children.)

They go by (first birth name) (our last name) for short.  Both children are very comfortable with this, even though their first names sound ethnic to American ears.  They do have the option, of course,to go by their middle names if they choose.  My daughter asked about it once, but at this point, is content to remain with her first name from birth.

We are of the opinion that it is disrespectful to change a child's name, particularly their first name, without their permission.  Names are very personal things and it is one of the few things they have from their country of birth.

Answer 6

Our daughter was pushing 6 when the adopions were to finalize... We did not change her first name or her little brothers but we did talk with our daughter about the fact that if she wanted to she could....  

We did change our son's middle name as it was the name of his sisters abuser and we did add a middle name to our duaghter's in honor of her New Aunt--but that was her choice. And we did add a Second middle name for our son because it is a "family tradition" in my family for the boys to be cursed with an extra middle name.

We thought twice about giving him the three name ordeal but, because of the fact that our Older children were part of the family and my oldest son is stuck with the 3-name ordeal we didn't want our youngest son to feel he wasn't as important as his older brother and think we didn't care enough to give him the same as his big brother.

Our daughter enjoys telling others that she has two special names---One given to her by her mom and one given to her by her growing up mommy.... She has always liked this and feels she has a gift from both of us.....She did not know her original middle name and it was rather "silly" sounding connected with the first name.... And it turned out that she and our older daughter ended up with names that rhymed which is kinda cute....

As for last names--when we took our Special Needs Parenting classes this topic came up for older children. We learned that in some cases the child might not wish to take the parents last name..... Again we talked about this subject with her. Since her mother had not even given her the same last name originally (and no one has a clue where or why her mother gave her a different unkown why last name) she wanted to change it.....

Her adoption day was celebrated More as a "marriage" rather than a Parental Rights issue---we did not do the "Like we gave birth to you..." parts of the adoption ceremony at the courthouse--we did a more Joinging the Family together ceremony.....

Answer 7

We made her birth name Valentina her middle name and gave her a new first name. We thought it was important let her keep the name she was born with in colombia so she always has a part of her heritage with her. So by making it her middle name she will always have that.

Answer 8

I received my adoptive children at birth, took them from the hospital. They had only the name the nursery had given them. So they needed one. I am not aware of it if the birth mother named them

Answer 9

I am an adoptive mother. I brought home my daughter at two days old and decided to give her a new first name, but keep her name from her birth mom as a middle name.  I also asked my mom to give her a middle name.  That way I, birthmom and grandma have all given her a name.

I chose to do this as a way of "claiming' my daughter.  I did not carry her in my womb, yet at the same time, I want to acknowledge her birthmom and where she came from. If i had given birth, I would have asked my mom to give my daugther a middle name anyways, so that's why I asked grandma to give a name.

However, if the child already knows their name by the time you adopt, it would be unwise to change it.  GIve a middle name, or a nickname that is all yours instead.

Answer 10

I don't think it's fair to the child to change his/her name.  It's pretty much all they have left of their life before adoption.  We did give our children a new middle name which was a name that meant a lot to us, and we put a lot of thought into it.  However, both children have also asked about their "real" names, and they both know their names prior to adoption.  It's only natural for them to want to know everything they can about who they are.

Answer 11

I'm a birthmother and they changed my birthsons name and i had to accept it. I kind of liked Nathan Alan anyway.Although the name I gave him had special meaning to me.

Answer 12

I know I am a minority on this but yep we changed the names.  We moved the first names to the middle names and gave new first names.  We still call them by their given names, except the little one she likes her new name better.  As they grow older they can pick and choose what they would like to be called, knowing one name came from us and one from "other mommy".  My husband just calls them by their nicknames of "little man" monkey man, and princess.

Answer 13

Our son was 8 years old at the time the adoption was finalized. His firs name was *Mike and we changed it to *Michael so it sounded more formal. It does not change the name he goes by and he was OK with the change.

We left his middle name the same especially because he was named after a family member on his original father's side.

We also changed his last name to our last name. We thought of keeping it or hyphenating it, because it is the same last name as my bio-children (he is a relative of my ex-husband) but he wanted to change it to our last name.

Answer 14

I didn't change the name because Em's birthmom and I picked the same name unintentionally!  She did not choose a middle name so my husband and I did.

Answer 15

I am an adoptive parent.  I changed my child's name because he was my child.  He likes his name and it's a good fit.  However, as he was adopted when he was 2 months old, I was delighted when he named his firstborn son the name that his biological mother had given him (the one I changed).  He never knew that name but when his son was born and named I told him that it was the name his biological mother had given him.  He was quite pleased and it closed a circle for him.  My grandson's name fits him too.

Answer 16

My son was 15-months-old and at that time he came to live with us.  We could of called him by a different name because he would of lost the memory of his first name, but we kept it because it is a strong name and was a family adoption.  He had no clue of his middle name or even his last for that matter, so we changed his middle name and of course his last name changed at adoption.

Answer 17

We kept our older's son's first name the same, because he was older and we didn't want to confuse him.  Also, we felt his name was a good name and didn't feel a change was needed.  We did change his middle name because of a family tradition, we also feel this will make him feel more part of our family (it is my and my father's middle name).

We did change our younger son's first name.  He was less than a year old so we felt the change would not confusing things.  The main reason for the change was because his birth name had a very unusual spelling, no one reading the name could figure out how to pronounce it without help.  So, we decided it needed to be changed, and went ahead and gave him a completely new name that we preferred.

Answer 18

My a-parents changed my first name because they didn't like it, but kept my middle name the same. I was only a few months old at the time and I'm not too bothered now. But when I was younger, I think I was quite angry that they changed it. My foster mom had called me a different name anyway, so I was probably a very confused baby, since I had 3 name changes in about 4 months.

My brother was adopted at only a few days old. His first name became his middle name because we only have one male cousin and they both would have had the same first name which would have been confusing, so my brother got a new first name.

I think its the child's decision really. If they're too young to choose, I think keeping the original name is the best option in most cases. Its one less issue for them to deal with.

Answer 19

My children were adopted from China, and I changed their names to American names, but kept their Chinese names as their middle names.   They all like the American names I picked, but also like having their Chinese name as a part of the full legal name.  My oldest daughter was adopted at age 10, and she fully expected to be given an American name.  She says that her Chinese first name would have sounded ridiculous with our Italian last name.

Having said all this, however, if their birth mothers had given them their names, I don't think I could have brought myself to change them.  Their names were given to them by orphanage staff members, so I did not feel as bad about it.

Answer 20

My adoptive parents changed my name but I think that was only because my name would of been Kayleigh Bailey if they didn't. They kept the same name for my brother who was also adopted. My brother and I were two when we were adopted so I think that is part of the reason they didn't change our names. Otherwise, I think its fine to change the name of the child, its yours I think it makes it special that you picked out the name.

Answer 21

I changed my daughters' first name and added her first name as her middle name

Answer 22

I had a double-barreled first name, when I was adopted my parents cut off the first name and kept the second one instead. They said it was too common!

Answer 23

I'm not an adoptive parent,

but I have an opinion if thats okay?

I think changing the name is fine if they are under the age of two or three

if not it may confuse them

if you generally dislike the name then you can't help your own opinions and changing the name seems fine

as well as if the name doesn't go with your second name,

hope this helps x

Answer 24

Our daughter was 5 when we adopted her, so she kept her name. It's not a name that we would have picked, but it was one of the few things that gave her a connection to her past, so we didn't want to change it.

Answer 25

Yes, it is common practice to change a baby's name when she or he is adopted.  When a baby is born to an unwed mother, the mother gives the child a first name and the child assumes her last name.  The birth of the baby is entered into the records that way.   The birthmother is issued that birth certificate. There is a period of time before the adoption process becomes final.  Once the baby is adopted, the new parents give the child a first name of their choice and their last name is substituted for the birthmother's last name.  The adoptive parent's names are then placed on the new birth certificate, as the mother and father.  To an unknowing person, it appears as though Mr and Mrs Smith have a natural born child.  The adoptive birth certificate , showing the adoptive parent's choice of a first name and their last name is then entered into the records, as though it is a newly entered birth.  Naturally, it appears on the records months after the birth actually occurred.  Both the records can be found.  The date of birth is the same, as that is never changed.

They change the name of the birth baby to a first name that they prefer.  That is the only reason.

Answer 26

Yes we did only because our son was only a few days old when we brought him home. And the name his birthmother gave him didn't have any real reason behind it. She just picked out a name so he wasn't "baby boy".  If she had had strong feelings about the name she picked out, I'm sure we would have considered using it maybe as a middle name or something.

Answer 27

I was adopted, and they changed my name because it was jin joo. But my sister and brother were adopted and my parents kept their first names and changed their middle names.

Answer 28

My son was 8 months old when we brought him home.  We gave him an American first name and used his given first name as his middle name.  

I can understand wanting the child to have their original name or a say in choosing, especially in the case of older adoption.  For us, it was our way of including him into our family yet maintaining a connection to his culture.

Answer 29

My adopted children(Plan on adopting 2) will keep their entire names.  It's because it's forbidden in my religion for the child to take the last name of the adoptive parents because the adoptive parents aren't the child's real parents and family identity is important in our religion. It would just confuse the children if they took the name of my husband.  Our holy book states your adopted sons are not your sons. Our religion states that the child's mother is the woman who gives birth to it.  Anyway I say change the child's first name if you want but KEEP the last name as that is it's identity.