Going from co sleeping to crib sleeping?

Question

First off...no negative responses from either side please! I'm looking for info from moms who have made the transition from co sleeping to crib sleeping...At 9 months we moved Ian into his own crib and put a bedtime routine in place...we used the ferber method/modified crying it out bc our son's pedi suggested it. It worked great until last month when he's started teething on the top and now the only way we can get him in his crib is to let him fall asleep on the couch with one of us or in bed with one of us wait an hour then move him to his crib...first he started waking up at 4 am on the dot wanting to be in bed with us....now he's waking up at 1 am and 4 am wanting to nurse....but at 9 months he quit nursing over night! I'm starting to get desperate! The only way to calm him down from his screaming is to bring him to bed with us in the middle of the night...then he wants to crawl around and play nonstop!!! Now that he's crawling well and trying to walk..our bed is just not safe! He's fallen off the bed while we slept and I really want him in his crib..I feel like it's the safest option at this point...but the only way to calm him down from all the crawling and playing at 4 am is to lay him down and nurse him..which even becomes a struggle. Please help!!!! How do I help him get used to his crib again with out making him cry it out :( I'd like us all to be able to get some good sleep. Thanks in advance!!!! (He is 11 months old now.)

Answer 1

Consistency is KEY!

Once my son hit the separation anxiety stage (around 7 months) we quit Crying it out too. (I knew CIO wasn't going to fly anymore) I rocked him til around this age (11 months) and then he became too big to hold in the chair so i  moved him to his crib.

I would sit or stand beside his crib and rub his back or head. I would not remove him from his crib, I would tell him it's bed time and to lay down and ignored him from there.

He would scream and cry and throw himself around, but finally he would settle and fall asleep. Same with night wakings. I would go in, sit or stand by his crib, tell him its night night time and to lay down. Rub him him til he fell asleep.

The first couple nights were HORRIFIC. But he got the hang of it.

Then he hit 15 months and the S**t hit the fan again and we moved him to a toddler bed. MUCH easier! But that's a whole óther story. lol

Answer 2

You did the ferber method once, do it again! He wakes up and cries because he gets what he wants (you give in!)...

Answer 3

We went through a similar issue when Ben was that age.  He would start fussing about 6am so I'd grab him and bring him to bed with us and he'd settle down and sleep.  He liked snuggling and sleeping with us and he realized when he fussed I'd go get him.  It gradually got earlier, earlier and earlier, 'til he started up about 2am.  He was sleeping great in bed with mommy & daddy, trouble was mommy and daddy weren't sleeping at all because we were afraid we'd squash him!  One night when I got up to get him my husband just grabbed my arm and said let him be and lets see what happens.  He cried for about 15 minutes and went back to sleep for the night.  His crib was still in our bedroom with us so it just killed me to lay there and listen to my baby cry.  It was a long 15 minutes but it did resolve the problem.  He did it again the next night too and we did the same thing.  He was fine after that.  It's amazing at such a young age but they know what they want and they know how to get it!  It's sometimes hard to determine their needs in the middle of the night.  I've noticed when they go through growth spurts they sometimes wake up and want to eat in the middle of the night.  Once you get him back on track, if he wakes at night, let him cry for a few minutes (3-5 or so) before you go to him to see if he's just waking up and will go back to sleep or if he really needs something.

Answer 4

OK ..  i'm allll for co sleeping at first. i did it with my daughter until she was 3 months then she was in her crib but in our room with us. then at about 9 months she had her own room. shes 14 months now and sleeps on her own!

what i did... up until she was 9 months i rocked her to sleep. then after that i let her cry it out because she was old enought to know it was bedtime. u know? as far as teething i think a baby needs to know that her parents are there for them when shes/hes in pain. i'm not saying baby them for hours on end until the fall asleep. my daughters teeth coome in twos. so its h**l for her! lastnight actually she woke up screaming. so i go in, with a dim light i give her orajel and teething pain pills. and held her while she was screaming. the whole time i sang her song to her calmly and just kept telling myself it will all be over soon. i dont like to be worked up while i try to calm her it  only makes it worse. so i gave her her sippy of water and lied her in her crib and rubbed her head until she was half alseep then i snuck out. and it works.. try prolonging the time you run to save them you know? like first let him cry for maybe five minutes then try ten and longer and longer until they can go back to sleep on their own. when hes not teething let him cry but go in if you have to and just dont pick him up. lay him back down give him his animal or blankie he likes for comfort and just calm him down and walk back out. its hard at first but you'll get there ;) oh! now that hes 11 mnths i'd definately start with naps andjust let him cry it out! he should know by now you know? and at night, stop nursing him! give him a sippy of water,he might just be thirsty. give it like a week and see.. hope i helped!

good luck!

Answer 5

He is getting what he wants in the night. I have heard of giving a bottle for the  night feeding and slowly replace it with water so it sort of becomes not worth it to wake up to eat. Maybe you could just go into his room and sit with him when he wakes up, but don't take him into your bed unless you want to keep doing it.  Nurse him if he needs it then lay him back in the crib and just sit with him until he falls back asleep. You probably will have to sacrifice a few nights, but? He also might be going through a growth spurt needing extra calories, or some other change thats making him more needy (daycare? Something else). Good luck!  

Answer 6

That's rough!

I'm going through it too.

It's just going to take patience on your part in deciding what you're going to do.

I have h**l nights myself sometimes when Maya decides that she doesn't want to sleep in her crib and she cries in the middle of the night for us.  We're not doing CIO here either because I've found it to be ineffective with her.  I did a little of it when she was around 10 months old and it worked Ok but when I was supposed to do it again and again to "retrain" her we decided that it wasn't for us.

Basically, I get up when she cries and I give her a binky, lay her back down in her crib (because she's usually sitting up or standing when I get to her) and rub her back until she calms down and then I leave.

If she cries again I'll give her a couple minutes and then I go back to her.

If that doesn't work then I pick her up and bring her to bed and hope she goes to sleep.  If that doesn't work then I bring her back to her crib.  If that doesn't work then I bring her back to bed.

Then I cry along with her.

lol

See a pattern here?  I don't think there is an easy answer to your question.

I did end up blowing up an airbed and putting it against the wall behind her crib so if we have another bad night like we had last week then I'm going to lay that on the floor and sleep in there with her.  If she crawls off that she won't get hurt.

I hope that helps a little!

The good news is that this stuff is temporary.  She won't be 14 crying in the middle of the night for you.  :-D

Answer 7

Not sure its possible to do that (without CIO) at this late stage. I think you should just admit defeat and put your mattress on the floor. Let him co-sleep until he is ready to go to the crib. Sorry, but you waited too long to ferberize him (which I dont agree with anyway).

By the way, your son is going through a time where he needs you more than ever because he is in pain. Do you want to deny him the closeness he needs so badly? Not to say everyone should co-sleep, but when your son is needy is not the right time to try and retrain him.

Answer 8

You might like to consider whether your baby is getting too much sleep during the daytime. If he's still having multiple naps, he may simply not be tired when he wakes up at 4am.